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Bigfoot is Real, Part 3
Bigfoot on Film
October 20, 1967: Roger Patterson films what he believes to be Bigfoot, strolling along Bluff Creek in Northern California's Six Rivers National Forest. The infamous 16mm film has since been studied and disputed as much as Abraham Zapruder's Kennedy assassination footage. Some claim the grainy, shaky footage proves Bigfoot's existence, while others believe it to be a hoax, insisting that the costume designer for Planet of the Apes was responsible, or that "Bigfoot" is clearly wearing a wristwatch. Many more folks -- like me -- just aren't sure. In any case, Patterson's indelible images ignited worldwide interest in Bigfoot, along with four decades' worth of exploitation movies.
Since nobody has a copyright on Bigfoot, pretty much anybody with at least a Camcorder and gorilla suit can make a Bigfoot movie. As such, Bigfoot movies vary widely in production values, from public-access quality home video to big-budget, would-be blockbusters. They also span the genres, from G-rated family fare to PG documentaries, from gory, R-rated horror films to X-rated hardcore porn. Likewise, Bigfoot has had as many different portrayals: gentle giant, fun-loving clown, fantastic lover, brutal rapist, misunderstood loner, bloodthirsty killer. Yet, in almost all cases, Bigfoot is tall, hairy, immensely strong and, of course, has big feet.
Many of these films center around a small group trekking through the wilderness, either actively searching for Bigfoot or simply enjoying the great outdoors. Their run times are often padded with ponderous wilderness footage -- woodsy flora and fauna, lakes and streams, mountains and sunsets -- accompanied by folksy banjo or harmonica music. However, once viewers are lulled into what seems like Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom, Bigfoot rears his smelly head.
At first, he's often obscured by shadows or foliage, or seen from the backside, or from a distance, or in profile or silhouette, or perhaps only his hairy legs are seen lumbering along, leaving a trail of giant footprints. We also often see action from Bigfoot's POV, with overdubbed breathing sounds as he spies on humans from behind a bush. But suddenly Bigfoot will explode onto the screen, whether for some heartwarming bonding, disembowelment, comic relief or whatever. Almost all of these movies end with some philosophical statement about man and nature or something. Also, pretty much all of 'em stink.
There have been a few pre-1967 films films dealing with Bigfoot creatures like his Himalayan cousin, the Abominable Snowman (a.k.a. Yeti), and subsequent movies invovling Bigfoot's extraterrestrial cousin, the Wookie. However, the focus here is strictly on Gigantopithecus blackii, the North American Bigfoot, post-Patterson.
A colony of Bigfoot creatures has kidnapped some bikini-clad babes with whom they intend to breed. A biker gang tries to resuce the girls (whom the dextrous creatures have somehow tied to stakes), while a pair of traveling salesmen (John Carradine and John Mitchum) hope to strike it rich by capturing one of the creatures. With its bad script, bad acting, bad costumes, bad soundstage sets and bad acid-rock soundtrack, this camp classic set the standard for most Bigfoot movies to come.
The New Scooby-Doo Movies (CBS, November 11, 1972).
In "Scooby-Doo Meets Laurel and Hardy," the teen sleuths run into the comedy duo on the road to a Vermont ski lodge, where they discover that the "Ghost of Bigfoot" has been scaring off the guests. Of course, the creature is actually a crook dressed in a Bigfoot costume, scaring visitors away so that his nearby stolen-car operation wouldn't be discovered. Even though the creature is referred to as "Bigfoot" throughout the episode (and he laughs and growls "Hnnnn! Hnnnn!"), his white fur and snowy habitat are more akin to the Abominable Snowman... Side Note: A better resemblance is the brown-haired monster in Tracey West's book Scooby-Doo and You: The Case of the Bigfoot Beast (Scholastic, 2000). Turns out the creature is actually a crook dressed in a Bigfoot costume, scaring guests away from a campground so that his nearby stolen-jewel operation wouldn't be discovered.
The Legend of Boggy Creek (1973).
A G-rated creature feature comprised of several moody, atmospheric vignettes in which rural folk encounter Bigfoot. In one scene, farm animals sensing Bigfoot's proximity get edgy before he attacks some chickens. In another, he smashes his arm through some farmhouse windows, freaking out the folks inside. Instead of the Pacific Northwest, however, the action takes place in another hotbed of Bigfoot sightings, the swamps near Fouke, Arkansas.
Beauties and the Beast (1974).
Bigfoot goes a-courtin' in this softcore mess, featuring buxom Russ Meyer favorite Uschi Digard. Horny hippies visit a cabin in the woods, where Bigfoot ravages sexy chicks in short-shorts and go-go boots before hauling them back to his cave-cum-harem. There's plenty of full-frontal nudity -- both male and female -- what with all the skinny-dipping, nude sunbathing, lesbian nookie, and in one scene, Bigfoot breaking up a copulating couple (Bigfoot interruptus?). We see plenty of shots of Bigfoot in broad daylight, with the sun shining on his oddly white teeth. Oh, and he also kills a guy.
Shriek of the Mutilated (1974).
A college prof takes some students into the wilderness to search for Bigfoot, who winds up killing off most of the kids. Spoiler alert: Bigfoot is actually a guy in costume, who kills the students so that he and the professor can eat them with their cannibal pals.
Isis (CBS; October 18, 1975).
In the episode "Bigfoot," a high school kid is convinced he saw Bigfoot in the forest. After telling his skeptical friends about his adventure, he returns with a camera, intent on photographing the beast. The kid sees Bigfoot again, but the tall, hairy being frightens him, and he accidentally drops his camera into a ravine. What the kid thought was Bigfoot is actually a scary-looking-but-peaceful hermit, whose real name is Richard. Richard valiantly tries to retrieve the camera, but he too falls into the ravine, only to be saved by Isis.
The Creature from Black Lake (1976).
Krazee-eyez Jack Elam plays a trapper helping anthropology students track Bigfoot in the Louisiana swamp. In this horror film's most memorable scene, a submerged Bigfoot springs out of the water to attack a guy in a rowboat.
Curse of Bigfoot (1976).
A ridiculously sloppy pastiche of film from different decades and genres, all cobbled together into a barely coherent narrative about a back-from-the-dead Bigfoot mummy, or something. There are remnants of a half-finished, early '60s horror film combined with '70s high school classroom footage, along with stock Hollywood wildlife footage from all different climates and decades, and what appears to be an industrial logging film. Bigfoot himself looks like a fifth-grader's papier mâché project... Anyway, some creep lectures a class of '70s high schoolers about how -- extended flashback here -- in the early '60s a teacher and teenage archaelogy students find a Bigfoot mummy in a Southwestern cave. The Bigfoot mummy comes to life and attacks a sheriff in an orange grove, then the teens douse Bigfoot with gasoline and set him ablaze. The end.
The Legend of Bigfoot (1976).
A guy named Ivan Marx breathlessly narrates this documentary about his ten years spent pursuing Bigfoot. He and his wife live in the Northwest wilderness, where they examine footprints, poke around in caves, and interview Eskimos. The crazed, Ahab-like researcher seems to have caught every form of wildlife on film -- bear, beaver, moose, raccoons, chipmunks, cougar, deer, salmon, hawks, eagles, elk, mountain lions, ducks, mountain goats, geese, bison, coyotes, wolves, squirrels, trout, caribou, moose -- everything but Bigfoot. It's all pretty boring, until the end, when he finally gets Bigfoot on film, limping around like a retarded baboon. Nobody takes it seriously, and Marx seems bitter that his footage isn't as famous as Patterson's.
Mysterious Monsters (syndicated, 1976).
Host Peter Graves poses lots of stupid questions in this televised documentary, true to Phil Hartman's Saturday Night Live impersonation. This movie pretty much lays down the template for scads of future Bigfoot docs, with all its interviews with believers and skeptics, researchers and scholars, zoologists and hunters, and backwoods kooks claiming "I seen 'im!" Newspaper clippings, tabloid articles are shown, plaster footprint casts are examined, and several different Bigfoot costumes are used in several reenactments of multiple Bigfoot encounters.
The Six Million Dollar Man (ABC; Feb. 1, 4, 1976; Sept. 19, 22, 1976; Oct. 9, 1977).
Andre the Giant played a fanged Bigfoot with piercing white eyes in two two-hour, two part episodes ("The Secret of Bigfoot" and "The Return of Bigfoot"), as well as in another one-hour episode ("Bigfoot V"). Steve Austin has long, slo-mo fight sequences with Bigfoot -- in one he tears off Bigfoot's arm and sparks fly out. Turns out Bigfoot is controlled by space aliens who operate from a cave in a Northern California mountain... Side note: Kenner produced an action figure of this Bigfoot, which commands top dollar on eBay.
K-tel commercial (1977).
The ubiquitous '70s merchandiser ran an ad for $4.99 snowshoes, which kids could strap on to make big "foot" impressions in the snow. The animatied ad showed four creeped-out kids talking in hushed tones about the monster, when Bigfoot sneaks up and scares the shit out of 'em. The announcer says, "K-tel's Bigfoot is here, and far from frightening, it can be great fun!" Then the delighted kids watch Bigfoot dance in his plastic snowshoes (rendundant, right?), and declare, "Bigfoot, you're fun!"
Pacific National Bank commercial (1977).
During the '70s, the Northwest-based Pacificbank billed itself as "Bigfoot's Bank." Their articulate, white-pelted spokesquatch sported a bushy mustache and often toted an umbrella on his forearm. He appeared on T-shirts and buttons, as well as in the form of childrens' coin banks and plush toys, all presumably bank giveaways. This animated ad has Bigfoot explaining how the bank can help people new to the area, but doesn't include Bigfoot's catchphrase -- "SeeYa!"
Return to Boggy Creek (1977).
The second Boggy Creek movie breaks ground as the first Bigfoot movie in which he's portrayed not as a monster but as a friend, to humans such as Dana Plato (Diff'rent Strokes) and Dawn Wells (Gilligan's Island). The family film takes place in a remote fishing village, where locals have reported Bigfoot sightings in a nearby swamp. The kids prevent hunters from killing Bigfoot, and then when the kids are stuck in a boat during a storm, Bigfoot wades into the water and hauls them to safety. The benevolent Bigfoot's face is never shown.
Sasquatch: The Legend of Bigfoot (1977).
It supposedly took seven years of research to put together this pseudo-documentary, which follows a horseback expedition through British Columbia to capture Bigfoot. Besides newspaper clippings flying across the screen and inclusion of the Patterson film, this stinker mostly amounts to one long reenactment. Armed with rifles and tranquilizers, the group heads out to investigate local Bigfoot sightings, making footprint plaster casts along the way. A caucausian guy made up like an Indian provides some hokey native lore. Bigfoot kills a guy, snapping his neck like a twig, later attacks their camp at night, smashing up their crappy '70s Bigfoot tracking equipment.
The Secret Railroad (Global Television Network, 1977).
In the five-minute Canadian children's cartoon "Des Yeux Pour Croire" ("Eyes to Believe"), the old man and the boy on the train see Grand Pied (Bigfoot) rubbing his tired feet. They pick him up and roll on, also picking up the Abominable Snowman, the Loch Ness Monster, a couple space aliens, King Kong, and some headless woman along the way. They visit some girl who makes them all at home, letting Grand Pied soak his feet in hot water. And then they all go back. It's trippy and it's in French so I don't quite get it all.
Peeping Times (NBC, 1978).
A young David Letterman visits some fictional Washington town to investigate Bigfoot for this spoof of 60 Minutes. The townsfolk perpetuate the Bigfoot myth by leaving footprints, clumps of hair and feces around the area, simply to attract tourists. The town's businesses are named accordingly: Bigfoot Burritos, Bigfoot Frozen Yogurt, Bigfoot T-Shirts, Bigfoot Taffy, Bigfoot Sunglasses, Bigfoot Toupees, Bigfoot Burgers, Bigfoot Dentistry, and the Bigfoot Motel. A skeptical Letterman doesn't buy any of it.
Bigfoot and Wildboy (ABC; June 2 -- August 18, 1979).
This Sid & Marty Krofft Saturday-morning TV series spun off from a segment which aired on the Krofft Supershow during the 1977-78 season. Ray Young plays Bigfoot, who found an orphaned boy in the Pacific Northwest wilderness and raised him into a teenager named Wildboy. They communicate in broken English, but most often in Bigfoot's own language. The duo fights against evil aliens and pollution, and they fight for justice and to "make the world safe and happy." The episodes have sci-fi elements and lots of slo-mo shots of Bigfoot running around and leaping extraordinarily high and far. Bigfoot isn't much of an enigma here, since Wildboy and plenty of others see him in broad daylight.
The Capture of Bigfoot (1979).
The only reason this horror movie is included here is the "Bigfoot" in the title, because this beast is more Yeti-esque, looking like an obese albino gorilla. Unlike Yeti's home in the Himalayas, a North American ski resort is the setting for this film. An angry Bigfoot kills people and throws snowmobiles around before reuniting with his Bigfoot offspring, and in one scene, he spies through the window of the ski resort's disco.
The Berenstain Bears Meet Big Paw (NBC, 1980).
Big Paw is the Berenstain universe's version of Bigfoot, a dumb-but-loveable goof who's adored by children but doesn't know his own strength. Following his introduction in this half-hour cartoon, he appeared in the 1985 short, "The Big Paw Problem." Big Paw walks from his cave into town, declaring "Big Paw going shopping!" On his way, he plays with some kids ("Jumping rope fun!"). However, his violent leaps create a 5.6 earthquake ("Big Paw sorry!"). Later, after accidentally destroying an apple orchard, some devious adult bears and some shifty weasels conspire to drive him from Bear Country forever. He goes on trial for being too big and powerful to live among civilized folks. At that moment, another earthquake strikes, and Big Paw uses his strength to save the town from total destruction, and he becomes a hero. "Bigpaw national treasure!"
Night of the Demon (1980).
Bigfoot kills and kills and kills again in this cabin-in-the-woods gore-fest. Bigfoot tears off a camper's arm, and his blood forms a pool in Bigfoot's giant footprint. Bigfoot rips the genitals off a biker dude, who then bleeds profusely from the crotch. Bigfoot impales a guy in a sleeping bag on a stick. Bigfoot tears out a guy's throat. Bigfoot attacks couple having R-rated sex. Bigfoot slices up a couple of Girl Scouts. Bigfoot rapes 15-year-old virgin, impregnating her with his mutant demon love child. Bigfoot shoves a guy's face down on a hot stove. Bigfoot stabs a girl with a pitchfork. Bigfoot chops up a guy with an axe. Quality drive-in fodder.
Super Friends (ABC; September 13, 1980).
In the cartoon short "Big Foot," a group of Bigfoot creatures capture Batman, Robin and Apache Chief and take them to their high-tech cave, where the creatures try to drain their thoughts. But our heroes free themselves, and once they've captured their captors, they use Batman's Bat-Language Translator on the chief Bigfoot. Turns out they're from outer space, and just needed help repairing their broken space ship so they can return to their home planet. Superman then fixes their ship and they fly away.
The Geek (1981).
This Bigfoot thrives on human poon. Though this hardcore porno claims to be filmed on location in Washington, Oregon and Alberta, it appears to have all been shot on a few rural acres in a single afternoon for $50. According to the film's foreward: "In the wild, untamed regions of the Northwest part of our continents [sic] strange stories have been unfolding for two hundred years. There is a legend OF A MAMMOTH BEING. PART ANIMAL, PART HUMAN. IT'S [sic] GROTESQUE FORM has on occasion BEEN SEEN by some. OTHERS SCOFF AT IT'S [sic] EXISTANCE [sic], yet all RESPECT IT -- THEY CALL IT THE 'SASQUATCH' We call it -- "THE GEEK." A scientific expedition of three men and three women spends more time having sex than tracking Bigfoot, and when they finally meet him, Bigfoot rapes the women and fights off their boyfriends. You can actually see Bigfoot's pasty white weiner poking through his greasy black costume.
Boggy Creek II (1985).
Despite its title, this is actually the third film in the Boggy Creek franchise. An anthropoligist and three students head into the wilderness to investigate Bigfoot sightings. At first, Bigfoot seems like a scary amphibious monster who somehow kills a deer from underwater as it crosses a stream (kinda like in The Creature from Black Lake, above). However, Bigfoot is only truly angered when his kid is held captive by some fat southern redneck. It seems that Bigfoot isn't a monster after all, but rather a gentle father and one of God's precious creatures...Side note: For good reason, his stinker later received the Mystery Science Theater 3000 treatment.
Kokanee commercials (1985).
The Sasquatch has long been featured in the Columbia Brewing Company's ad campaigns. In this early example, Sasq the Sasquatch and his wife live in a cave in the glacier meadows of the Kootenays, where the brewery is based. The cave is furnished like a middle-class suburban home, where Sasq keeps plenty of "cool, crisp Kokanee" on hand. He also has a condo in Vancouver.
Cry Wilderness (1987).
Bigfoot loves Coca-Cola and rock 'n' roll, thanks to his young friend Paul, a kid who wears a magic pendant around his neck that Bigfoot gave him. Bigfoot is only visible to those who "truly believe," and at first the kid is the only one who does (they speak to one another in English). Besides Bigfoot, the woods are teeming with other animals -- wolves, foxes, bears, even a Bengal tiger that escaped from the zoo -- it's like the magical wonder of nature as seen through the eyes of a boy, set to a synthesized '80s soundtrack. Unfortunately, some rich asshole hires a forest ranger, a big-game hunter, and a Native American Bigfoot expert to hunt Bigfoot, and they also wind up hunting the tiger. Bigfoot warned the boy that his dad was in danger, what with tiger and cougars and all. At the end, Bigfoot lifts a boulder off the boy's dad, making a believer out of him too. The kid also meets a sage old Indian ghost.
Harry and the Hendersons (1987).
This Amblin production smacks of E.T. and other Spielberg fare: the amusing family's encounter with the supernatural. A station wagon driving through the wilderness accidentally hits Bigfoot, whom family adopts and names Harry. Harry inadvertently smashes up their Seattle home, but dad teaches him to sit and stay. Harry kicks back in a recliner and laughs at Bedtime for Bonzo on TV. Soon Harry causes citywide hysteria, running amok through Seattle (the Space Needle and monorail are shown, and Harry howls like a siren to clear traffic on I-5). After a poacher kicks Harry in the nuts comes the corny, tear-jerking finale: Harry reunites with his Bigfoot family near Mt. Rainier, and he returns to the wild... Side notes: This best-known Bigfoot movie spun off action figures, bubblegum cards, a syndicated sitcom (1990-92), and a costumed "Harry" character at Orlando's Universal Studios theme park... Rick Baker, best known for creating the aliens in the Star Wars cantina, won the "Best Makeup" Oscar for Harry's costume... The son in the movie wears Mariners cap.
MacGuyver (October 19, 1987).
In the episode "Ghost Ship," our extremely resourceful hero discovers Bigfoot on the titular craft on some lake in Alaska. Then a bunch of boring stuff happens until MacGuyver and Bigfoot get in a big fight near the end of the episode. However, in true Scooby-Doo fashion, it turns out Bigfoot was just a guy in a costume, working for some villainous oil thieves. Still, Patty and Selma probably dug this.
This film's first hour is a typically bad '80s horny-teens-in-a-cabin-in-the-woods horror outing, with gore and boobs and crappy special effects. Bigfoot, with his Elvis-like sneer, steals George Kennedy's daughter in a home invasion. Then Bigfoot smashes Kennedy's head on a rock, tears a drunk girl's head clean off her bikini-clad body, and sticks a guy's arm in a beartrap and disembowels him with a stick. Then the last half-hour takes place in a mysterious cave, with this confusing sci-fi zombie satanic ritual sacrifice alien slaying-type thing. In the end, it was all a nightmare-within-a-nightmare, or some such deal.
Secrets of the Unknown (syndicated, 1988).
Bigfoot was featured on an episode of this lousy TV series hosted by Edward Mulhare, the old Irish guy from Knight Rider. His cheap studio set, which is supposed to be the interior of a high-tech mountain fortress, brings to mind The George Michael Sports Machine. He's surrounded with computer gizmos, enhanced with hokey '80s computer graphics spacey synthesizer music and bad bluescreen trickery. His accent supposedly serves to add an air of mystery and authenticity to the proceedings. Not worth it.
The Simpsons (Fox; February 18, 1990).
In "The Call of the Simpsons," a near-nude Homer is lost in the wilderness. After bees sting him inside his mouth and he falls into mud, a random photographer in the area mistakes him and his inarticulate roars for Bigfoot. The forest quickly becomes a carnival of souvenir stands, burger shacks, and cardboard cutouts advertising "Get Your Picture Taken with Bigfoot." Homer is eventually hunted down, tranquilized, and taken to a lab for testing. Upon observation, scientists are unsure if Homer really is Bigfoot, or merely sub-human. A TV news anchor reports that the photographer "was most impressed by the creature's uncivilized look, its foul language, and most of all, its indescribable stench." After a reporter interviews Marge, a tabloid runs articles with the screaming headlines: "I Married Bigfoot," "Bigfoot's Wife Pleads: 'Call Him Homer,'" and "The Bigfoot Diet: 'Pork Chops Aplenty.'"
Danger Mouse (ITV; January 10, 1991).
Episode: "Bigfoot Falls." Bigfoot has a British accent, even though he lives in British Columbia. Wikipedia describes it thusly: "Danger Mouse and Penfold are sent to track down a huge hairy monster that has been crushing the local villages. When they find it they discover he's actually friendly, but suffers from extreme bouts of sore-feet. They get help from the RCMP - Royal Canadian Mounted Podiatrists."
Eerie, Indiana (NBC; September 22, 1991).
New kid in town, teenager Marshall Teller, notes the, um, eerie goings-on in his neighborhood: "I knew my hometown was going to be different from where I grew up in New Jersey, but this is ridiculous. Nobody believes me, but Eerie is the center of weirdness for the entire planet. Item: a guy that looks suspiciously like Elvis lives on my paper route. Item: Bigfoot eats out of my trash."
The Kids in the Hall (CBC, 1991).
In the regular "It's a Fact" segment, the red-haired girl runs up to the camera and says, "It's a fact -- the Bigfoot has a beautiful singing voice." Cut to Bigfoot -- with unusually long arms but normal-size feet -- demonstrating his lovely operatic voice. Then the girl reappears, teary-eyed, saying "Wasn't that beautiful? It's true -- it's a fact!"
Darkwing Duck (syndicated; February 6, 1992).
The ducks encounter a sort of primitive, savage tribe of Bigfoot creatures in "Dances with Bigfoot." The tribe, whose members repeatedly say "humina humina humina," tries to sacrifice the ducks in a volcano.
Pizza Hut commercials (1993).
In 1993, Pizza Hut rolled out the "Bigfoot" -- with a surface area of two square feet, it was touted as "the biggest pizza you can get delivered." The TV spots showed a bunch of people trembling at the prospect of Bigfoot showing up on their doorstep, but it only turned out to be the delivery guy... Side note: That summer, Pizza Hut had a "Bigfoot Blimp" tour the country. The white, 165-foot-long dirigible had a Bigfoot cartoon character on its side. On the afternoon of July 4, the helium-filled airship deflated mid-flight over Manhattan and crash-landed on a seven-story apartment building on West 53rd Street. Rooftop sunbathers scrambled out of the way, and the two crew members sustained minor injuries.
Quantum Leap (NBC; March 16, 1993).
"The Beast Within" takes place on November 6, 1972. A kid who mistakenly thinks he saw Bigfoot crawling out a window of his family's house explores the Washington wilderness in search of the beast. He meets up with a pair of Vietnam vets who live in the woods, choosing to hide away from civilization. The kid realizes one of them was who the he thought to be Bigfoot -- "Bigfoot" was actually a thief fleeing the house. The kid fails to find the real Bigfoot, but at episode's end, the show's two regulars do get a quick glimpse of Bigfoot as he ambles through the forest.
Bigfoot: The Unforgettable Encounter (1994).
A family film in which a kid from Home Improvement gets lost in the woods and gets caught in a beartrap. When a bear is about to attack him, Bigfoot appears from nowhere to fight off the bear and free the kid. The two bond and become friends, but a media circus develops as a greedy millionaire puts up a reward for Bigfoot's capture. With the help of a park ranger played by Matt McCoy, the kid saves Bigfoot before the millionaire gets to him. Bigfoot gets plenty of screen time, including close-ups in broad daylight. Forgettable... Side note: Like Harry and the Hendersons (and E.T. before it) the scary outsider creature soon becomes both a beloved family member and a catalyst to help a misfit kid become popular with his peers, and while he's hunted down by no-goodniks, he simply wants to be reunited with his own kind. Look for this theme again in Little Bigfoot, Little Bigfoot 2, and Big and Hairy, all reviewed below.
A Goofy Movie (1995).
Goofy and his son Max cross paths Bigfoot on a camping trip in this animated Disney offering. Goofy films Bigfoot with his camcorder as the beast chases them. They seek refuge in their car while Bigfoot destroys the videotape. Bigfoot then rummages through their belongings at their campsite and gets Goofy's underwear stuck on his head. He listens to their Walkman and starts dances to the Bee Gees's "Stayin' Alive." Bigfoot spends the night sleeping on top of their car while Goofy and son remain stuck inside... Side note: Bigfoot didn't make it into 2000's direct-to-video sequel, An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Hunt for Bigfoot (syndicated, 1995).
A TV documentary hosted by elderly Clu Gulager, including interviews with a psychic, anthropologists, a taxidermist and the usual witnesses and skeptics. It also covers a Bigfoot festival in Fouke, Arkansas, and shows scenes from The Creature from Black Lake. Among other clips are reenactments of Bigfoot bothering a family eating dinner and watching TV, Bigfoot stealing fruit, and Bigfoot attacking a teenage couple making out in a steamed-up parked car. Most memorable is graphic footage of Bigfoot's skeletal remains, with flesh rotting off the bone.
The Last Chance Detectives: Legend of the Desert Bigfoot (1995).
Don't be fooled by the title -- the mystery in this pre-teen morality yawner is pretty much given away by the gorilla on the videotape's cover. A suspected Bigfoot haunts a Southwest desert town, where a quartet of kid detectives examine online video of "the famous Murphy footage from 1967." Bigfoot is indeed simply a gorilla that was "liberated" from the circus by an evil poacher, pretending to be an evil animal-rights activist... Side note: this stupid made-for-TV movie was produced by James Dobson's stupid Focus on the Family organization. Unfortunately, this Christian "family values" video doesn't address biblical views of cryptozoology, like, whether Bigfoot was a product of intelligent design, or if a Bigfoot couple was brought aboard Noah's Ark.
Little Bigfoot (1995).
Little Bigfoot 2: The Journey Home (1997).
The most blatant E.T. ripoff, Little Bigfoot is set in fictitious Cedar Lake, Oregon. Out in the woods on a camping trip, single mom P.J. "Riff Randall" Soles and her three kids meet Little Bigfoot, who looks like a cross between an Ewok and E.T. With the help of a sheriff played Matt McCoy (in his second Bigfoot movie, following 1994's Bigfoot: The Unforgettable Encounter) the kids save Little Bigfoot from a greedy logging-company owner... Tom "Howard Cunningham" Bosley stars in the 1997 sequel, in which another family (including a kid from Home Improvement (not the one from 1994's Bigfoot: The Unforgettable Encounter, but another one)) also meets Little Bigfoot on a camping trip, and protect him from another evil industrailist.
Aaahh!!! Real Monsters (Nickelodeon, 1996).
Bigfoot (real name Elban) had been kicked out of the monster academy for insubordination and lack of discipline, supposedly posing a danger to himself and to others. However, since Simon the Monster Hunter has set out to capture Bigfoot, Elban's former fellow students set out on an expedition to warn Bigfoot about Simon. Simon does capture Elban, but the other monsters free Elban just before Simon can display him to the media. At the end, Elban is given an Honorary Doctorate of Monstrology, "for creating the legend of Bigfoot and scaring generations of humans."
Almost Live! (KING-TV; February 3, 1996).
On "The Late Report," the faux-news segment on this Seattle-based sketch-comedy show, host John Keister reports that a Washington State University professor said that Bigfoot should be hunted down and killed. Bigfoot (Pat Cashman) is then brought on to provide an alternate view. He's angry about tired Bigfoot jokes and sensitive about his "overwhelmingly putrid odor" (he wears Old Spice), and says the name "Bigfoot" itself is mean: "If I wore shoes, I'd probably take an 11, 11-and-a-half." He further rants, "Some anthropology so-called professor from Wazzu wants to hunt me down and blast me away. Keep in mind that this is the same university that recently announced a research study on how cow farts affect the ozone. This guy's livin' in Pullman, and he thinks I don't have anything to live for! I'm a Sasquatch with feelings, who really doesn't look all that different from a Wazzu freshman after his first kegger. So please, don't hunt me down and kill me. Thank you very kindly."
Drawing Flies (1996).
Jason Lee (My Name is Earl) is inspired by The Six Million Dollar Man's Bigfoot episodes to find the beast in the British Columbia wilderness, and he cons four of his fellow slacker friends into joining him. They get lost and they swear a lot and smoke loads of pot, and Lee's insanity grows as the movie progresses. The low-budget comedy is shot in black and white, and Bigfoot appears only briefly in dream sequences.
The Spooktacular New Adventures of Casper (Fox Kids; March 9, 1996).
Dr. Harvey takes the Ghostly Trio out to Friendship Forest for some wilderness bonding in "The Legend of Duh Bigfoot," but on the way they hear a radio report of Bigfoot sightings in the area. In the end, what everybody imagines to be Bigfoot turns out to be Baby Huey, in a cameo appearance. Though we do see a billboard advertising a store called Bigfoot Shoes.
The Adventures of Sam & Max: Freelance Police (Fox Kids; April 4, 1998).
Traveling through "Sasquatch Country," Sam and Max believe they've discovered a young Bigfoot named Jojo, bussing tables at a roadside diner. They snatch Jojo from the diner, intent on returning him to his natural habitat in the forest. Sam and Max present Jojo to a Bigfoot family, but they reject him. Turns out that Jojo is actually human; he only looks like Bigfoot because his mom is the Wild Woman of Borneo.
Big and Hairy (Showtime, 1998).
In this made-for-cable family film, Bigfoot's face is actually scarier than in most Bigfoot horror movies, looking like Mike Myers's mask in Halloween. Anyway, Bigfoot befriends some junior-high loser, who recruits Bigfoot for the school basketball team. Like Squatch, mascot of the Seattle Supersonics, Bigfoot clowns around, dances, and hams it up, but he also makes all kinds of amazing acrobatic dunk shots. Of course, both Bigfoot and the kid achieve sudden popularity. Bigfoot is often seen in out in public, like in the scene where kids pretend to play Star Wars in their homemade costumes (naturally, Bigfoot plays Chewbacca). However, the lonely Bigfoot wants to be rejoined in the wilderness with his Bigfoot parents. In the end, the reunited Bigfoot family is accepted and respected in the human community, and they all party together.
Celebrity Deathmatch (MTV; May 28, 1998).
"The Mystery of the Loch Ness Monster" is the Bigfoot episode of this stupid Claymation series. Hollers the ring announcer, "In the blue corner, hailing from an undisclosed location somewhere in the Pacific Northwest, the grungiest one of them all, Bigfoot!" Bigfoot snarls and looks mean and makes menacing poses, but isn't given the opportunity to do much more. Just six seconds into the match, Nessie's tail slices Bigfoot in two, clean through his belly, though both his upper and lower halves continue writhing around.
Search for the Beast (1998).
From Something Weird Video comes a film that boasts "SEX-CRAZED CARNAGE!" The videotape's cover depicts Bigfoot carrying a hot bikini-clad blonde, and though there are some occasional boobs, no such scene happens in the movie. Set in Alabama. Ultra-low budget, shot on video. Bigfoot always shown in "staggered" "stuttering" video. Overdubbed breathing. Lame comedy. Guitar-playing hicks. Takes place mostly in the woods with stereotypical rednecks. Closeups of Bigfoot's footfalls. Bigfoot's face isn't seen that much, probably to hide that he only had one masked expression. Bigfoot has a singular expression. Bigfoot kills people. Missing campers. Yet another expedition.
Courage, the Cowardly Dog (Cartoon Network; November 26, 1999).
Bigfoot has been stealing pies off the windowsill of the remote farmhouse of Courage's owners in Nowhere, Kansas. Though initially frightened by Bigfoot, Courage and the beast make friends after bonding over an epic food fight in the kitchen. An angry mob then descends on the house to capture Bigfoot, but Bigfoot's mother shows up at the last second to save him, taking him back home with her.
Family Guy (Fox; April 11, 1999).
In "I Never Met the Dead Man," Peter crashes his station wagon into a satellite transmitter, knocking out the town's cable TV. As an angry mob approaches him, he desperately tries to divert their attention, blurting out: "Hey, look, there's Bigfoot!" Sure enough, Bigfoot is standing nearby, minding his own business. Bigfoot turns around and says, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. This isn't about me. This is about you." Three seconds of screen time, one lame joke.
Tenacious D (HBO; March 1999).
An uncredited John C. Reilly plays Sasquatch in "Death of a Dream." He jams with the D on drums, but the duo isn't comfortable with taking on a third member. As the scenario plays out, Jack and Kyle a song with these lyrics:
"In Search of Sasquatch" -- that was a kickass In Search Of
With Leonard Nimoy kickin' out the jams
Scientists have proven that the Sasquatch -- he is real
Take a look at the plaster cast of his foot now you know he's real
Listen real close to the audio tape now you will know that he's real
Couldn't be a man in a gorilla suit no fuckin' way now you know he's real...
Side note: That 1976 In Search Of episode is a glaring omission in this survey, and while I remember seeing it as a kid, I haven't been able to track it down since.
Little Nicky (2000).
The horned Sasquatch-like denizen of hell is called "Gary the Monster" in the film's credits, but referred to as "Bigfoot" in the shooting script. A McFarlane action figure of the creature is also called Bigfoot.
The Red Green Show (CBC, 2000).
In the animated segment "Ranger Gord's Educational Films" from the comedy show's episode "Who Wants To Be A Smart Guy," Gord explains "Big Foot Defence" [sic - the show's Canadian]. Gord instructs Red and Harold how to defend themselves against a "wild sasquatch." Since Bigfoot has big feet, he naturally attacks with kickboxing moves. Suddenly Bigfoot springs out of nowhere and boots the students into the distance. Gord tells Bigfoot that he came into the scene too soon, and he needs to try it again. On the next attempt at explaining defensive moves to Red and Harold, Bigfoot jumps in even sooner and kicks the two away again. Gord concludes, "You can't teach an old sasquatch new tricks," and then hurls Bigfoot over the horizon.
Perverted Stories Number 35 (2002).
The X-rated segment "Bigfoot" opens with protagonist Joanne Green hiking through a forest, her voiceover telling us she's a scientist employed by the Oregon Wildlife Institute. It's now the tenth day of her Bigfoot-hunting expedition, during which she hopes her feminine scent will lure the beast to her campsite so she can capture him on film. She says she feels like she's being watched, though the hot blonde cuts a fairly conspicuous figure, with her cleavage, bare midriff and daisy dukes. Bigfoot does indeed sniff his way to her tent, where he finds her resting inside. She crawls out of the tent, screams, and then suddenly starts blowing him. Later, after they've finished sodomizing each other, she finally shoots her Bigfoot footage as he runs away.
Bigfoot is a bald-headed, greasy, black-skinned monster who seems to have thermal night vision, as scenes are often shown from his point of view. He gets shot to death in the end, but perhaps it all a dream? With Lance Henriksen.
The Simpsons (Fox; February 17, 2002).
In the 13th-season episode "The Bart Wants What it Wants," the Simpson family travels to Canada. A bus pulls into a Toronto bus station, and we see a Mountie, a hockey player, Bigfoot, and then the Simpsons disembark. Blink and you might miss him... There was also a Sasquatch reference in "Homer Bad Man," a Simpsons episode that first aired on November 27, 1994. Homer agrees to appear on the tabloid TV news show Rock Bottom, telling the reporter, "I saw that report you did on Sasquatch. It was fair and even-handed." After he is interviewed on camera, Homer asks the reporter, "Say, can you introduce me to the Sasquatch? I like his style."
Ape Canyon (2003).
Bigfoot throws his feces at people he sees in the woods and masturbates while looking at pictures of Britney Spears. He also rapes girls who wander into the wilderness, but they come to desire Bigfoot, who gains a reputation "North America's greatest lover." The married woman protagonist falls in love with Bigfoot, and fantasizes about him while having sex with her redneck husband. Once the husband discovers the betrayal, he sets out to kill Bigfoot. However, he too gets raped by Bigfoot, only to fall in love with Bigfoot and seek him out again. At the end, these three love triangle participants converge in the woods. The husband kills Bigfoot, the wife kills the husband, and then she kills herself. Bigfoot is simply an actor in a gorilla costume, with mouth agape, fangs exposed, and face frozen in rubbery growl. This extremely low budget, public-access quality film, shot in California's Humboldt County, is the most scatological of the Bigfoot films.
Bruce Almighty (2003).
Jim Carrey plays a TV reporter who does a live broadcast while falling from an airplane, but his parachute fails to open. The DVD's deleted scenes show that his fall is broken when he randomly lands on Bigfoot, saving his life. Bigfoot survives too, and is seen with Carrey on live TV news. "I have proven once and for all the existence of Bigfoot," Carrey reports, hugging Bigfoot. "This unwitting Sasquatch has given its life to save mine."
Futurama (Fox; July 13, 2003).
In "Spanish Fry," the gang camps in Duraflame National Forest. It's a National Bigfoot Preserve, where the park ranger shows them a film short, "Bigfoot: Endangered Mystery." True believer Fry, who calls Bigfoot his hero, is saved by the creature at the end of the episode, just as a space monster is about to chop off his "lower horn." Curiously, the Futurama Bigfoot resembles Barney from The Simpsons.
Runnin' with Bigfoot (video by the Groovie Ghoulies, 2003).
Some longhair rock dude in a furry costume dances and frolics with the girls in the pop-punk band. He doesn't bother wearing a mask.
Sasquatch: Legend Meets Science (syndicated, 2003).
An hour-long documentary with the usual parade of scientists and witnesses and plaster casts and various renderings and picking apart of footage, narrated by Stacy Keach.
They Call Him Sasquatch (2003).
This is probably the best of the low-budget Bigfoot comedies, though some B-list pros help out: Garry Marshall plays a TV news producer, and Chuck McCann (of Far-Out Space Nuts) plays an innkeeper. Michael Jackson has put up a $1 million reward for Bigfoot's capture so he could add him to his menagerie. A slick TV reporter dresses up like real-life British Bigfoot tracker Peter Byrne and assembles a Bigfoot expedition, including the owner of a diner, a suburban family of four whose wife/mom feels like she has a psychic connection with Bigfoot after seeing him on their honeymoon, a "Bigfoot Vocalization Expert" with a hot wife, a pair of British rockers from the band "Bigfeet," and a pair of bumbling backwoods hicks. They run into a crazy woodsman who warns them against Bigfoot, and have lots of other wacky misadventures in the forest. Unfortunately, most of what's shown of Bigfoot is in the opening credits.
Crank Yankers (Comedy Central; September 10, 2004).
A show in which puppets act out acual prank calls... In this skit, Adam Carolla phones a Bigfoot hunter, wanting his help in killing Bigfoot. As they talk, we see that the puppet hunter runs the Little Bigfoot Shoppe, where he sells Bigfoot Cigarettes, Yeti Nuts, Sasquatch Snacks, Bigfoot Jerkey, and for $25.98, Bigfoot's dingleberry. At the end, Bigfoot himself wanders into the shop(pe) to buy a pack of "Xtra Hairy" Bigfoot Condoms.
Suburban Sasquatch (2004).
A shot-on-video, direct-to-video, comedy/horror offering, in which a vengeful Bigfoot goes on a bloody rampage as suburban development encroaches on his turf.
Trailer Park Boys (Showcase; April 25, 2004).
One night while watching a TV documentary about Sasquatch, Ricky and Bubbles are convinced there's a "Samsquanch" in the park. They beat him up with aluminum baseball bats, until they realize the monster is just Julian lumbering around with a big furry blanket pulled over his head. From the episode "Rub 'n Tiz'zug."
Triple Trouble (video by the Beastie Boys, 2004).
The Beasties attributed their six-year hiatus since their previous studio album to Bigfoot, who held them captive in his cave until they escaped. Bigfoot then sees them on TV talking about his poor hygeine and bad odor, angering him. After consulting Mapquest.com, Bigfoot runs from his cave through the forest to the streets of Manhattan, where he finds them on the set of their "Triple Trouble" video. He beats them up and hauls them back to his cave, where he leads them in calesthenics, then they play Pong, smoke pot, and jam (Bigfoot plays bongo). Then Bigfoot makes them dinner and reads them a bedtime story. The B-Boys dream about trick-or-treating and playing basketball with Bigfoot. The audio set-up menu on the DVD that accompanied the 2005 CD anthology Solid Gold Hits (2005) has extended percussive jam sequence of the foursome... Side note: An insanely rare tie-in action figure occasionally appears on eBay -- Bigfoot wears a kitchen apron, like in the video -- but only 70 were made.
Among Us (2004).
In this generally unfunny mockumentary, a low-budget filmmaker and his pals are hunted in the woods by Bigfoot, spoofing the cabin-in-the-woods horror genre. Bigfoot attacks a guy in a campground toilet stall, and then he attacks a girl in the shower. The fictional filmmaker's previous fictional creations are Hunger of Bigfoot, Bride of Bigfoot, Gladiator Bigfoot and Bigfoot House Party.
A public-access-quality comedy in which a hoax Bigfoot film is produced in the hopes of collecting a $50,000 reward. Bigfoot is simply a a guy in a red-haired orangutan costume, but he accidentally gets shot by someone who mistakes him for the real Bigfoot. Dumb.
Harry Knuckles and the Pearl Necklace (2004).
A campy spy/adventure flick shot in Canada on grainy film and using deliberately poor over-dubbing, combining elements from James Bond, martial-arts and Santo films. A bionic Bigfoot with insanely long arms and legs and massive hands to crush people's skulls steals a museum's pearl necklace, which Super-spy Harry Knuckles must recover. Knuckles meets Bigfoot in the woods and they fight. Knuckles recovers the necklace from inside Bigfoot's circuitry, sapping him of his strength, and then Knuckles throws Bigfoot off a cliff to his death. Later he gives the necklace back to Bigfoot, restoring his power and bringing him back to life.
The Venture Bros. (Cartoon Network; August 21, 2004).
"Home Insecurity," an episode in this Adult Swim series, spoofs the The Six Million Dollar Man episodes described above. Sasquatch happens across Brock Samson on a camping trip. Samson throws a knife at Sasquatch which stabs him, and then he grapples with Sasquatch, and then he grapples with Steve Somers, a Steve Austin-like character on AWOL from his Army duties. Samson learns that the reclusive Sasquatch has joined Somers as his male inter-species lover. Samson sneaks the disguised couple past an Army checkpoint to freedom -- Sasquatch is shaven to look like a man, and Somers wears a wig and mustache made from Sasquatch's hair.
Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Cartoon Network; December 4, 2005).
"Dirtfoot," an episode in this Adult Swim series, spoofs Bigfoot in the form of the filthy, snarling, one-eyed, one-foot, "legendary dirt monster." Dirtfoot is Master Shake's new roommate in an apartment under the Aqua Teens' front yard. Dirtfoot drives Shake nuts, leaving his giant stinky sock over the couch and watching TV all day. Dirtfoot abuses Shake, throwing stuff at him and constantly kicking him. Shake says, "He hurts me." Dirtfoot, who watches a live-action version of himself on the TV show "Inappropriate Mysteries of the Jersey Shore," is rumored to be "totally gay." Then Frylock and Meatwad accuse Shake of being gay too, so Carl tells the press that Shake and Dirtfoot have been common-law married for years, which the local news dutifully reports. An old lady finally stabs Dirtfoot to death with hundreds of swords. He probably had it coming, as "legend has it that he's kind of an asshole."
Clawed: The Legend of Sasquatch (2005).
Some poachers are killed by Bigfoot, so four horny high-schoolers set out on a camping trip to see if they can find him. It's explained that Bigfoot once coexisted peacefully with the Native Americans, but became vengeful when non-natives started destroying the environment. There are shots from Bigfoot's point of view as he spies on people in the woods, but the movie shows only fleeting glimpses of Bigfoot himself.
An amateurish 45-minute home video made by and starring some teenage boys in a comedic search for Bigfoot in the California wilderness. Two boys suspect their flaky Bigfoot guide simply puts on an ape costume pretending to be Bigfoot, but in the end, Bigfoot seems to be real, as he kills one of the boys. But it was all a bad dream... Or was it? Um, well, it didn't quite make sense, but still gets an "A" for effort.
Sasquatch Hunters (2005).
A small party of forest rangers and paleontoligists tracks down Bigfoot in a Pacific Northwest forest, only to find a whole mess of Bigfoot creatures attacking them. The creatures, all with big fangs and vicious gorilla faces, are mostly CGI, resulting in an effect similar to Ang Lee's CGI Hulk.
Stomp! Shout! Scream! (2005).
Gidget meets Jaws meets Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. When the all-girl rock trio the Violets have their car break down in Florida, they run into the Skunk Ape, the Bigfoot of the Everglades. The Skunk Ape has run amok, killing people and attempting to kidnap the Violets's lead singer as they perform their rendition of "Go Go Gorilla." Deliberate camp; Bigfoot is just a guy in a gorilla costume.
In his third Bigfoot movie (following 1994's Bigfoot: The Unforgettable Encounter and 1995's Little Bigfoot), Matt McCoy plays a wheelchair-bound guy who keeps tabs on his neighbors through his binoculars, much like Hitchcock's Rear Window. He witnesses Bigfoot kill people in gory fashion in nearby mountain cabins. Also stars Dee Wallace Stone (the mom from E.T.), and Lance Henricksen in his second Bigfoot movie (following 2002's Sasquatch).
The Adventures of Chico and Guapo (MTV2; September 8, 2006).
A cartoon short in which Chico and Guapo, interns at a New York recording studio, ineptly fake a Bifoot sighting.
Ask.com commercial (2006).
A lovelorn Bigfoot looks up "small talk" and "impressing girls" on Ask.com. Presumably heeding the advice, he then shaves his beard and heads out to a bar, where presents a pretty girl with a rose bush he tore out of the ground.
Committee to Regulate and Control Marijuana commercial (2006).
This ad argued in favor of legalazing pot in Nevada when the state put it to a vote in '06. It starts with Bigfoot walking through the Nevada desert, and the voiceover: "There are a lot of myths out there, like our current marijuana laws are tough on crime... Get the facts." At the end, to underscore the metaphorical myth, we see that Bigfoot is just some dude in a costume. He was probably stoned.
Jack Link's commercials (2006).
The "Messin' with Sasquatch" series of commercials features several spots where humans play tricks on Sasquatch, who usually turns the tables on the pranksters. Probably the most-recognized Bigfoot-themed ad campaign.
The Legend of Sasquatch (2006).
A computer-animated family movie, where a human family meet up with a Bigfoot family in the fictional Sasquatch Valley.
McDonald's commercial (2006).
Bigfoot comes across the unlikely scene of a life-size Ronald McDonald statue sitting on a bench in the forest. Bigfoot sits down next to the statue and apes its laid-back pose, then grunts the five notes in the "I'm lovin' it" jingle.
Meijer commercial (2006).
A 15-second spot for the Midwestern grocery chain features Bigfoot strolling through a supermarket. The voiceover says, "You have a better chance of seeing this at Meijer than a high price on groceries."
Mythbusters commercial (2006).
"Mr. Big Foot" sits on a log, explaining in his French-Canadian accent that he's "freaked out" that "urban legends" such as himself are being exposed by the Discovery Channel show. He wonders if he's drawn their attention because he's Canadian, which doesn't quite make sense. Bigfoot has been used in subsequent Mythbusters promotions as well.
Penn & Teller: Bullshit! (Showtime; April 24, 2006).
"Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster are complete bullshit!" So say Penn & Teller, who spend this half-hour episode raking "craptozoologists" over the coals. As an experiment, they put a 6-foot-7 guy in a rented Bigfoot costume and shoot blurry footage of him hiking through some tall grass. Then they put it online with some bogus backstory, which generates lots of feedback. The responses are presented by a guy in the studio dressed in a Bigfoot costume and glasses, thoughtfully "reading" the letters that the video inspired. Among them are offers for radio and print interviews, including one from a self-proclaimed Bigfoot expert who offers P&T $6,000 for an interview and rights to the video. Elsewhere, this guy from the American Museum of Natural History demands hard evidence beyond footprints and blurry videos to prove Bigfoot's existence. Predictably, the show concludes that Bigfoot is bullshit.
Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny (2006).
John C. Reilly reprises his uncredited role as Sasquatch from Tenacious D's HBO series. Jack Black eats some psychaedelic mushrooms and hallucinates that Sasquatch is his father. They romp through a Day-glo, Peter Max-inspired landscape, flying through the air like Superman and riding innertubes down the Strawberry River. Black, whose Bigfoot makeup looks like something out of Cats, sings a Bigfoot song with nonsensical lyrics before he snaps out of his trip.
Weeds (Showtime; October 2, 2006).
In "MILF Money," a prudish city councilwoman arranges for "Sober the Sasquatch" to deliver a brief anti-drug speech to a grammar-school classroom: "Arr! Arr!" yells Sober. "Drugs are wrong! Arr! I'm putting my big foot down on drugs!" (Sober emphatically stomps on floor.) "My big foot!" After removing her mask, the woman inside Sober's stuffy costume observes, "My sweat smells like peanuts!" Episodes later, it's revealed that one of the kids in the class, whose mom is the protagonist weed dealer, has stolen Sober's costume.
Boston Pizza commercials (2007).
A series of ads for the pizzeria/sports bar chain featured "Louie," a Sasquatch in training to become the company spokesperson. He's a big lumbering idiot, captivated by shiny objects.
Converse commercial (2007).
Two dudes out camping wake up one morning to find that a pair of Chuck Taylors have been stolen from outside their tent during the night. Suddenly Bigfoot walks past their campsite, wearing the purloined pair of red high-top All-Stars. The tagline says "Bigfoot. Small Foot. Any Foot. Converse."
Coors Light commercial (2007).
One spot among many in dumb multi-year ad campaign, in which football fans ask questions at a fake press conferences, with answers spliced in by coaches at actual press conference. In this one, a fan asks Bill Parcells, "Coach, do you believe in Bigfoot?" Parcells: "Um, I'd have to see some visual evidence at some point." Then we see the fan again, nodding to the giant Bigfoot standing at his side.
Jeep commercial (2007).
Bigfoot comes across a Jeep Liberty SUV parked in the wilderness. He starts gesturing to the vehicle like a game show model while an annoucer describes its various features and cheesy game show theme music plays. Then Bigfoot walks away.
The Long Way Home: A Bigfoot Movie (2007).
An amateurish, shot-on-video, direct-to-video story of a journalist investigating Bigfoot sightings in the hick-trash South.
Keep Arkansas Beautiful commercial (2007).
A minute-long, documentary-style PSA shows a sheepish Bigfoot sitting on a log as he's interviewed about his Hollywood potential: "I wouldn't say I'm a movie star exactly, you said that. I've always been pretty shy, I kept to myself. I read. I got several parts I'm considering. I'm outdoorsy. The environment is my passion. We have to take care of it. You know, animals live here, it's like their home. You can't have all this trash and dirty streams. I get so frustrated when I see that litter. That is so not cool. It's not cool"... Voiceover: "You don't have to be a big star to step up big. Keep Arkansas beautiful"... Bigfoot: "Hey, you wanna read my screenplay?" [Chewbacca-like growl]
Meet the Vancouver 2010 Mascots! (2007).
A promotional cartoon by Meomi introducing the mascots of Vancouver's 2010 Winter Olympics, starring Quatchi.
Bigfoot picks off a trio of unsuspecing twentysomethings who got lost in the wilderness, and then he kills a bunch more of them.
The Sasquatch Gang (2007).
Some nerdy teens are pranked into thinking they found a giant Bigfoot dump in the woods, attracting the attention of the local media and and expert Bigfoot researcher Dr. Artimus Snodgrass. The only time Bigfoot is seen in the movie is in a clip from Snodgrass's film, Bigfoot: Man or Myth?
Sasquatch Mountain (2007).
In his third Bigfoot movie (following 2002's Sasquatch and 2006's Abominable, Lance Henriksen has shot the infamous "Jackson Footage," in which Bigfoot killed his wife. The "edgy" horror movie is a mess of saturated colors, Arizona state police, hunters, bankrobbers in gorilla masks, a sexy hostage, and retarded editing, as if the creators were overly inspired by Quentin Tarantino, Guy Ritchie and Rob Zombie. Mostly just a bunch of running around in the woods, with little gore and few frights. Bigfoot gets shot to death at the end... Side note: While the DVD cover art says Sasquatch Mountain, the opening credits bill the film as Devil on the Mountain.
Smart Car commercial (2007).
Shaky, blurry footage finds Bigfoot marching through the woods, holding a large sign above his head reading "11,860€." Tagline: "Nobody will believe you've seen a price like it." Obviously for a European market.
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fight Bigfoot inside the steel skeleton of an under-construction skyscraper. Though the beast doesn't quite fit the Sasquatch stereotype, what with his urban habitat and spikes running down his spine, there's a TMNT vinyl toy version of him billed as Bigfoot.
Tom and Jerry Tales (Kids' WB; November 3, 2007).
In "Sasquashed," Bigfoot is named Sheldon, is scarcely larger than a housecat, and seems to be modeled after Paul Lynde. Tom, Jerry, and Mrs. Two-Shoes meet up with Sheldon at Ootagootasolo Campground. Jerry befriends him, while Tom chases him with a camcorder, hoping to cash in on a $1 million prize. In the end, Mrs. Two-Shoes winds up capturing him (and the million-dollar prize), and Sheldon winds up in the zoo.
Back at the Barnyard (Nickelodeon; September 22, 2008).
This CGI Bigfoot makes the first of his appearances as a recurring minor character on the show in "Otis vs. Bigfoot." He can sing, play a keytar, and fly.
It looks like the old Harry and the Hendersons costume was hauled out of storage for this crappy pre-teen movie. Bigfoot befriends some high-school kid who gets picked on by these redneck bullies, and then the bullies capture Bigfoot so they can sell him to the highest bidder. Then the kid and his pals rescue Bigfoot, who then moves in with the family and learns how to play guitar. And then the family returns him to the wild, where he's reuinited with his Bigfoot girlfriend.
Cold Stone Creamery commercial (2008).
VO: "Bigfoot approaches Cold Stone Creamery. Inside, he sees a hunter, a Sasquatch enthusiast, and a Brazilian bikini waxer." [Bigfoot growls, dog barks.] VO: "Will the insiatiable draw of our Strawberry Blonde give him the strength to open the door?" [Tagline: "Do you love it? Do you love it love it??"] Bell sounds, indicating that Bigfoot has entered the store, despite the other customers.
Foot: Phantom of the Forest (2008).
A kid named Monty, who lived in Snohomish County, Washington in the '70s, mourns the death of his father, a park ranger. Monty lives with his single, working-class mom, and in his bedroom he has an Evel Knievel toy on his bookcase. Found among his late father's belongings is a grainy film of his dad's search for Bigfoot, and an accompanying book about the "Phantom of the Forest." Monty sets out to complete his father's quest, meeting up with a Native American who runs a convenience store. It turns out that Monty's dad wrote the book, and the two eventually spot Bigfoot in the woods and take a picture. They then turn the convenience store into a Bigfoot museum. An animated short on DVD, bundled with a Bigfoot bobblehead toy.
Holiday Inn Express commercial (2008).
"If you do your best thinking in the shower," goes the voiceover in this installment of the hotel chain's "Stay Smart" ad campaign, "imagine how smart you'll get under the brilliant showerheads at Holiday Inn Express." We see a guy hop out of the shower and appear in three different scenes, all still with a towel wrapped around his waist. Besides quickly deciphering Egyptian heiroglyphics and confidently gulping down a potion that turns him invisible, he proudly annouces to a press conference, "Found him!" Seated next to him is Bigfoot, but instead of answering the gathered media's questions, Bigfoot just eats his microphone.
Lost Tapes (Animal Planet; October 30, 2008).
Each episode of this cryptozoologically themed anthology series is a compilation of fake documentary footage telling some sort of story. In the "Bigfoot" episode, a Pacific Northwest forest ranger is threatened by a guy poaching black bears, but Bigfoot comes to her rescue by killing the poacher.
Phineas and Ferb (Disney Channel; February 23, 2008).
A bunch of kids go to their grandparents' cabin in the woods, where the grandpa sings them a jaunty song about Bigfoot on his banjo. Later, when they're all sitting around a campfire, the grandma and the oldest kid prank the rest of them with a giant Bigfoot costume. From the episode "Get That Bigfoot Outa My Face!"
Sanctuary (Syfy, 2008-present).
Bigfoot is a regular character on this sci-fi/fantasy series about scientists who study cryptozoological critters. He's an assistant to the chief scientist and main character, serving as her butler, chauffeur, and bodyguard.
Troma's Bigfoot movie is set in Ohio. It begins with Bigfoot attacking a baby racoon, then killing a bunch of deer, and then he moves up to killing people. He gets killed at the end when he's hit by a truck.
Scent Killer commercial (2009).
Hunters spray this stuff on themselves so that their game can't smell 'em, and so they can better sneak up on their prey with a giant crossbow like the guy in this ad. It initially fools Bigfoot too, though it doens't impair his sense of sight. Depite the hunter's camo, Bigfoot sees the guy and chases him away.
Schoolhouse Rock: Earth (2009).
A segment in this direct-to-video release is an environmentally themed cartoon short, set to the song "Don't Be a Carbon Sasquatch." Some guy sings the tune to a kid, explaining to him how he can reduce his carbon footprint. For example, by not leaving his unattended computer turned on while watching TV, or not eating imported food, or by walking to soccer practice instead of having mom drive him there.
Scrabble commercial (2009).
An animated ad with a bunch of silly images strung together -- including Bigfoot holding a voodoo doll while a cupcake smashes a giant cell phone over his head -- much like random words are strung together in a typical Scrabble game. This ad probably appeared in the UK, since the Scrabble box seen at commercial's end looks like the British version.
David Koechner plays a Bigfoot-hunting anthropologist, but it's his colleague (played by Luke Wilson) who catches the only glimpse of Bigfoot seen in the movie.
Dr. Pepper commercial (2009).
A clay-animated Bigfoot meets with an alien, a leprechaun, Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny in the "I Exist!" support group. The newest member is a Dr. Pepper delivery guy, who the group laughs at when he claims that Diet Dr. Pepper actually tastes good. At least one other Dr. Pepper commercial has been made using this campaign.
Assault of the Sasquatch (2010).
Sasquatch isn't actually assaulted, rather, he's a multiple assaulter -- a better title would be Assaults by the Sasquatch. Regarless, it's another campy, bloody horror flick -- yawn. But check the DVD bonus features for bonus footage, as Sasquatch cuts a rug in the exclusive "Booty Poppin'" video.
Berlin City Auto Group commercial (2010).
Bigfoot comes out of the New England woods for the car-buying experience at the Maine/New Hampshire/Vermont-based car dealerships. "I know people said a dealership that makes car-buying fun doesn't exist, but hey, they said I didn't exist either!"
Bigfoot the Monster promo video (2010).
A short clip of a guy in a Bigfoot costume walking around Manhattan, promoting the 2010 Fisher-Price robot toy, "Bigfoot the Monster."
iCarly (Nickelodeon; May 8, 2010).
In the episode "iBelieve in Bigfoot," a Seattle high school is abuzz over news footage of Bigfoot shot near Mt. Baker, so the iCarly gang heads to the national forest to investigate. They discover that "Bigfoot" is actually a scientist, roaming the woods in a Bigfoot costume to generate hype for his poorly selling book, Bigfoot: True or Real?. The real, unseen Bigfoot carjacks the gang's RV at the end.
Sunergy Systems commercial (2010).
Bothersome Seattle TV personality John Curley costars with Bigfoot in a spot for a local solar energy concern. The premise is "Northwest Myths Exposed," which Bigfoot thinks he's a part of, but really the commmercial aims to debunk the idea that solar energy won't work in the Northwest.
Vern Fonk Insurance commercials (2010).
The Seattle-area auto insurers are known locally for their wacky TV ads, which often spoof familiar pop culture. Bigfoot has appeared in a few of them, such as the one with the Local Internal Affairs Representative (LIAR) who campaigns to make Bigfoot the state animal of Washington.
Wife Swap (ABC; July 30, 2010).
In the "Robinson/Parker" episode, the mother of a hiphop-obsessed family trades places with the mother of a Florida Swamp ape-obsessed family. At the end, the families unite to perform a Bigfoot rap, with an accompanying video. Sample lyric: "It's a Bigfoot monster/ It's a Bigfoot monster/ It's a Bigfoot monster."
Big Foot (video by Chickenfoot, 2011).
This shitty song by the rock supergroup has a guy running around in a chicken suit in its video. During Joe Satriani's guitar solo, the chicken guy romps around with a guy in a Bigfoot costume. However, Sammy Hagar sings not about the mythical creature, but about being in a hurry to see his girl: "I got both hands on the wheel, and my big foot on the gas."
Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer (2011).
Asinine kids' movie about third-grade girl who hunts down Bigfoot with her brother Stink. Stink makes a Bigfoot statue in their front yard, and though we do get a glimpse of Bigfoot himself, he gets more screentime in an animated fantasy sequence.
Sasquatch Music Festival trailer (2011).
An animated online trailer promoting the 2011 edition of the annual rock festival near George, Washington. In the photo here, Sasquatch has just licked that frog, hence the giant pupils.
Seattle Home Appliance commercial (2011).
Fred Bigfoot got tired of being chased around the woods so he started working as a consultant at Seattle Home Appliance. In one spot he tumbles around in a clothes dryer; in another spot, featuring his young son Jimmy, accidentally breaks a fridge.
Stay tuned -- there's seemingly no end to the Bigfoot footage.
Bigfoot is Real, Part 1: In Search of Bigfoot
Bigfoot is Real, Part 2: A Year in the Life of Bigfoot
Bigfoot is Real, Part 4: A Bigfoot Menagerie
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Last updated on October 17, 2011.
© 2004-2011 Steve Mandich